December 2011
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Naughty By Nature and the bald guy from Live are...
Naughty By Nature and the bald guy from Live are playing a New Year’s Eve show at the Hyatt.
*for $119 to $175 of course
**Your all inclusive party ticket will get you access to all the areas of entertainment on two ballroom floors with a 5 & 1/2 hour premium open bar, an array of the Hyatt’s top notch cuisine featuring heavy hors d’ouvres, carving, Asian & pasta...
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Compare and contrast the word ‘buddy’ in the gay and straight communities.
“During a meeting in Madrid in March 2008, Hurd walked Fisher to an ATM and...”
– Hurd Pursued Sex With Contractor Jodie Fisher While CEO of HP, Letter Says - Bloomberg
This is possibly the most bathetic thing I’ve seen all year.
Mr. Hurd also casually dropped a box of Magnum condoms hoping to impress Ms. Fisher with the size of his ‘massive dong’, according to...
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Important 92-Member Girl Group News
Pop quiz: What act sold a million copies of its last three singles the first day of release? Not Lady Gaga.
It was Japan’s AKB48, a group of 92 mostly teenage girls, armed with sugar-sweet pop tunes and sometimes-suggestive lyrics (“My school uniform is getting in the way”) that has saturated the country’s popular and commercial culture. The group is set to play a key...
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“Of all the oxycodone prescribed in America in the first half of last year, 98...”
– Good work Florida.
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Progress in the United States is driven by two things:
1. “Goddammit. That motherfucker is not smarter than me.”
2. “I’m going to fucking do something about this.”
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Jesus Christ my high school friend’s fucking start-up raised $4M this year.
They have loft offices with exposed brick and SEC filings!
Shit.
OK. OK. First things first. Let’s see if I can shower before noon today.
On True Life I’m Addicted to Meth the former addict bro goes into a coffee place and orders 10 shots of espresso after quitting crank the night (or so) before.
He informs the viewer that this is as close as it gets to the good shit.
So if you ever get the urge to seek out methamphetamine you can always just go down to Starbucks and spend $10 on espresso while listening to the new Feist...
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“Those are just the latest in what police and music instructors are describing as...”
– Nothing in California makes any fucking sense.
When I decided to careen off the middle class suburban white expressway I always assumed I could restart my life doing some sort of job where I kicked people in the head while they were splayed on the ground in some dark alley illuminated under the headlights of a late model American sedan, while I yelled at them to return loaned funds, as ‘Can’t You Hear Me Knocking’ plays in...
“He was not made team captain, nor was he the last one picked. He sidestepped...”
– Colson Whitehead, in Zone One. (via fortyandtwo)
“She was the only girl to have ever asked questions about his obsessive interests...”
– Where does hating everything all the time put me on the autism spectrum?
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Fight Club is awesome you just hate bros*.
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Shorter Natasha VC on the rape scene in Girl With The Dragon Tattoo:
“I was aroused therefore YOU were probably aroused therefore David Fincher is an overrated asshole and nothing will ever be as good as the Sopranos. Now be good and go watch Scorsese’s 3D kidz movie.”
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“Having glimpsed just how unacceptable the world judges my demeanor, could I too strive to make up for my shortcomings? Practice a shit-eating grin until it becomes natural? Love the world twice as hard?
I see the appeal of getting with the program. But this is not my choice. Striving to meet others’ expectations may be a necessary cost of assimilation, but I am not going to do it.
Often...
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bthny asked: As far as I know, the Indian family wasn't robbed; the families on our street who have been are all white.
Area 25 year old whose every job has come from family connections lectures audience on work ethic and personal responsibility.
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“It is a peculiar thing when the basic standards of honesty and decency are...”
– Fuck Ron Paul etc..
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“Cooperman, 68, said in an interview that he can’t walk through the dining room...”
– Bankers Seek to Debunk Imbecile Attacks on 1%
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“If I can’t fuck up Ann Coulter before lunch then I shouldn’t be in this...”
– New Yorker
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“Hitchens claims to be unperturbed by his critics. “You’d think I’d driven over...”
– He will never have a tumblr. Sheds single tear.
“Students may select either the one-year or two-year cohort. All textbooks, iPads...”
– Keep talking, expensive part time grad school. I’m listening…
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From WTF with Donald Glover
Marc Maron: “What was performing arts high school like in Atlanta?”
Donald Glover: “It was mostly black males having to pretend they’re straight..
“…It was the only place in Atlanta you could meet another black gay guy.”
Why were you bullied in high school?
Donald Glover: “I was just a weird black kid. “If I was...
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“I show women’s ability to secure latrines increases when they are relatively...”
– This will appear on the Hairpin in five minutes.
From the comments: “Indeed! If only all women’s material preferences were so practical and prosocial!”
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Kids working part time jobs to pay exorbitant ‘athletics’ fees at a state school where a football player and part time rapper on full scholarship takes a picture of a woman sucking his dick on top of the freshman dorms and posts it to twitter with a link to his personal website that’s filled with malware.
“In courtship, the best gifts are “the most useless to women and the most...”
– The Behavioral Economist’s Guide to Buying Presents - Jordan Weissmann - Business - The Atlantic (via felixsalmon)
Also origami flowers from etsy in assorted colors.
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“Lee and I flew to Cupertino to play the spot in person to Jobs. Only the three...”
– The Real Story Behind Apple’s Think Different Campaign
My Dad is really abusing the Chinese respect for the elderly with all this sexual harassment.
“This special, if it explosed, cause really it’s only been up for 2 days,...”
– Louis C.K. on Reddit.
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Watchwhatevs:
sashafrerejones:
via Dangerous Minds.
This is an amazing way to spend 24 minutes on a Sunday morning.
“If you’re put in this position what are you going to do? Become a Republican just to protect what you’ve earned?”
“Hopefully we’ll put out Metal Machine Music next year.”